Overview: Do your sons hate homeschooling? You may be surprised at how easy it is to help them love learning again. Here’s how!
Homeschooling our kids can be an AMAZING journey – or it can be an excruciatingly painful process. When we first start homeschooling our kiddos, we have dreams of helping them to receive a world-class education.
We hope and pray that we will give them a love of learning and that they will discover their God-given passions and purpose in life.
Unfortunately, many of us model our homeschools after the type of education that we received when we were kids – meaning we are copying the local public schools.
This is a sure way to make our sons HATE homeschooling.
Families who have all daughters might be able to get away with educating them the same way that schools do; however, if you have boys, it’s important to steer clear of certain types of learning.
Here are 7 ways to make your sons hate homeschooling – (so PLEASE don’t do these):
1 – Forcing them to sit at a desk with a pencil in their hand all day long
Boys learn best when they are moving. We should allow our boys to take frequent movement breaks and add movement to their lessons whenever possible. This is especially important for young boys!
As they get older, they will be able to sit still for longer periods of time. You’ll find that even men appreciate being able to move around while thinking. This is why stand-up desks are becoming so popular and why you’ll see men pace while they are talking on the phone.
Let your son move!
→ Related Content: Looking Back 14 Years – My Biggest Homeschool Regret2 – Handing them a pile of worksheets to complete all day
Most boys learn a lot more when they are actually DOING something versus just filling out worksheets. Observe your son to discover how he learns best.
Be willing to let him take apart your old alarm clock. Or build a tree fort in the backyard. Or collect bugs and dissect them. Or wallow around in the mud to see for himself how pigs cool off.
3 – Expecting lots and lots of homework to be completed every evening
Boys learn more with shorter, high-impact lessons than they do drawing out their schoolwork through the entire day. Don’t feel like you need to drone on and on while talking with them. Make your point and move on.
Some practice is good with subjects such as math; however, once your son has learned something he will appreciate it if you don’t hammer it to death with piles of homework.
4 – Never going on field trips
Real-life learning is so important for boys! Get them out into the world and let them experience life. Learning about a battle by visiting the battlefield is going to be more memorable to your son than merely reading about it.
Reading the details is also important; but, don’t forget to add in the field trips to make your son’s lessons come alive!
5 – Never getting together with other homeschoolers
Our boys need to learn how to support their families and get along in the real world. Getting together with other homeschoolers and discussing books, or going on combined field trips, or studying various subjects together is a great way for your son to do this.
The more varied the people he’s comfortable being around, the better he will be at getting along with future coworkers.
6 – Never asking them what they would like to study
God has put each of our sons on this earth for a specific purpose. He has filled each of our children with dreams and passions. Our job is to observe them and talk with them so that we can prepare them for whatever God has for their future.
If we are determined to follow a rigid course of study and don’t modify it at all to give our child an individualized education, we are missing out on one of the biggest freedoms that homeschooling has to offer.
7 – Staying inside all day long
Fresh air and exercise are good for all of us. Try to get your boys outside as often as possible.
Do your lessons at a picnic table in the backyard or at a park. Take nature walks. Go swimming.
Encourage your boys to catch frogs and butterflies and worms. Let your boys explore God’s amazing world and discover the awesomeness of creation for themselves.
Our boys require a different type of education if they are going to flourish. We need to keep the above points in mind so that we don’t cause our boys to hate learning in our homeschools.
Remember, we can NEVER teach our children everything they will need to know in life. Rather than attempting to stuff their brains full of information, we need to attempt to ignite the flames of curiosity in our sons.
Question: Do your sons love to learn? Do you have any other advice you can share which has helped your boys to love learning? Please leave a comment below.
I couldn’t agree more! Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Erin. And thanks for stopping by!
Having homeschooled 4 boys, I will say you are correct. However, I also have 3 girls and some of them did much better with this philosophy, too. Of my 7 children, probably only one would have been content to sit at a desk and do her work, while her sister did much better with hands on active learning. I suppose it all comes down to ‘what is the child’s learning style’.
Having four girls who are adults now and one girl and two boys still at home I want to say this goes for the girls as well! Girls probably do better than boys if this were the way they were educated but also thrive when they are given the opportunity to move and learn hands on. Twenty some years ago I had to learn it was more important for my daughters to learn than for them to be sitting on a chair, thus they laid on the floor, the bed, even with their feet on the chair while laying on the floor. I have noticed a number of your posts are good reminders for both boys and girls. Thank-you.
Good point, Linda. It’s good for ALL of us to move. Our brains work better that way. 🙂
I completely agree with this post! Being the mom of an 8-year-old boy and attempting to homeschool, I struggle with knowing the best way to balance this with making sure he is learning what he should know so he can grow up being able to communicate and problem solve. He doesn’t enjoy many things about schooling and I am looking for answers on how to make it more enjoyable. It is definitely a struggle for me right now… Thank you for your ideas!
Glad I could help! Keep studying your son and you’ll get him figured out. 🙂
Thand you 🙂
I just started my journey with 2 boys in kindergarten right now and they’re very different. I’m learning the youngest is more focused and able to comply more easily while my oldest, who is high energy, needs lots of movement and understanding on my part.
It really pays to study your Children and adapt your teaching style to their learning style.
And every single mowning we get out
Whether we burn off our energy at the park, or swimming or biking, I place lots of importance on free play that’s done outside.
And lots of healthy fats in the diet to calm them down and help them focus! 🙂
Wonderful advice, Jessica! Yes, it’s important to study our children and find out what makes them tick and what type of learning environment will help them to thrive. Sounds like you’re doing a great job with your boys! Look around my blog. You should be able to find lots of other posts which will also be helpful to you on your homeschooling journey. Take care and I hope to hear from you again. 🙂
My son is many yrs behind due to hating schooling and books. Ideas are much needed here to motivate and encourage him. Major stress thinking i will stuff his life up.
I hope these ideas will help you to get things turned around for him in the coming year! 🙂
What a great list! So full of truth 🙂 We are in our 25th year of homeschooling, and I couldn’t agree more. Thinking outside the box when it comes to homeschooling has made learning fun for my children AND their mother. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
Stopping by for a visit via Worshipful Living this week.
Thanks so much, Linda! Wow, 25 years of homeschooling?!? That’s inspirational for sure! We’re in our 13th year over here. I’m sure I could glean all sorts of wisdom from you. Thanks for the comment!
I learned some time ago that my youngest boy is wholly kinetic and moving actually helps him learn. I give him a rubics cube to twist in his hands while we do our history lessons. My older son (graduated) needed music on when he studied. that would drive me crazy but for him it helped drown out other noise and focus better. My daughters are completely different. the trick is discovering their learning style and then adapt to it. I recommend “The Big WHAT NOW book of learning styles” by Carol Barnier. She not only helps with discovering your kid’s individual style of learning, but gives practical suggestions on how to adapt your teaching to their style to help them grasp and retain info. very helpful!
Excellent advice! Yes, that is a great book. We have that one over here and I’ve recommended it in previous blog posts. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. 🙂
So true! I would add #8.
Don’t let them be independent in their work. Don’t teach them to schedule their own time.
Independence is so important for boys!
Yes, great point, Leslie. I’ve certainly found that to be true with my boys. I wrote a post about it that you might enjoy. This revolutionized our homeschool!
I am so right there! We had to stop the norm of what we are doing and I have to figure out how to shake it up this week, but still get some subjects in. After almost 4 weeks of the same thing, shaking things up is a good thing! Coming from a Mom with 3 boys and one girl and I can totally see what is going on! I love having both boys and a girl, but there are definitely differences!
It’s good that you recognized what was going on and were willing to shake things up! Not all parents are willing to do that. Your kids will appreciate that someday (if they don’t already.) Thanks, Elizabeth!
I couldn’t agree more! One of the many things I love about homeschooling is the flexibility that we have in our approach to helping our kids learn. My boys need to move! They need hands-on! Thanks so much for sharing these wise tips:)
Thank-you, Amy. Flexibility is so important. Thanks for stopping by!
I work at home with my son, who is still in preschool and these tips make so much sense. Frankly, I think they hold true to boys learning in general. Especially the part about never getting outside but rather sitting still at a desk all day.
Thanks for linking up with the FrugalMommas team!
Oh, enjoy the time you’re spending with your son. Preschool age is such a fun time! Thanks for stopping by, Lauren!
I could not agree more with these comments as I have a 5 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who are both doing kindergarten right now. But I am not expecting hours of school or stacks of homework…just 3 or 4 written words along with other fun activities, and he has such a hard time sitting still for very little work. He has hours and hours of playtime and outside time and only one hour of schoolwork. I can’t allow him to be moving while trying to write a few short words. That is my struggle.
I wrote a different post about teaching your son when you can’t get him to sit still. Perhaps it will give you some ideas: https://www.homeschool-your-boys.com/sitstilltolearn.html It will get better as he gets older. Just keep working with him and loving on him! 🙂
I let my son stand while he does his written work. He is able to wiggle around and move his feet or rock from one leg to the other :-). It has done wonders for our school time :-).
That’s another great idea! Thanks for sharing that with us. I know that some people have their kids sit on those big bouncy balls instead of in chairs so that they can be moving and wiggling while they’re sitting.
I will say, I have a duaghter… and pretty much everything you said above applies to her too! I love post thread, a lot!!!!
Yes, you’re right. Many girls also benefit from teaching them this way! Most boys, however, NEED these techniques to reach their full potential.
Ohh I so needed to hear this! Thank you for posting. As a mom of two boys ages 11 and 9, and a little eight-month-old girl to take care of during the day, I have been frazzled by trying to get them to do their Abeka and BJU workbooks. I’ll admit that Minecraft and Farming Simulator are their gaming favorites they could stay on all day. We live in a townhouse in Charleston, WV, with steep hillsides, so not much in the way of getting out and building a fort or playing in the yard. My oldest will do his workbooks without much of a fight, but my youngest is the “smart kid who hates writing.” And as soon as I crack open a book to discuss the section with him, instant head on arm or in book, and looks like he needs to be put on life support. There have been any tearful episodes that follow. With that being said, I will back off the busy work in History and Science, but at what point do your kids need to be able to start writing proficiently so they are prepared for the high school years? The Charlotte Mason approach has me baffled how it might work [with boys]. Help, moms. Third year homeschooling and don’t want to shed more tears over homeschooling than in my marriage! 🙂
After girls, I am learning these things, VERY slowly, but learning them none the less. It is amazing how different boys are, and how much we need to adapt to their needs. Great post!!
Thanks, Misty. Yes, they certainly are different! Understanding our sons can also help give us a window into the minds of our husbands as well. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Routines helped a lot in my Homeschool. That way they knew what was coming next and that there was fun to be had after the math and reading.
Good point, Amanda. I think that most kids thrive on regular routines. And it is nice to always have hope! Thanks for sharing this tip. 🙂
I have an 11-year-old son, and he hates anything that he has to read or write. So I try to mix it up by placing different activities between those subjects that require lots of reading or writing. For instance, he could play some music or draw for a while between subjects. Typing also seems to help, even though he is still reading. I think it’s the physical involvement that he likes. Another option is watching a science video or working on flashcards. Going outside is also a great way to break up his day!
Excellent ideas. It’s always good to vary their activities between less active and more active. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us!
Exactly! Well said. I wish you were my teacher when I was a little guy!
Thanks, Tom! Hey, I just checked out your site and it looks like you’ve got some great information on there. I’ll have to share some of it with my readers. Thanks for stopping by!
This was very helpful and definately will do it.
Glad you found it helpful, Jamie! 🙂
I am homeschooling my ADHD son and I agree! I was encouraged this week by a poem my daughter posted. Hope it will encourage others!
https://lovethelittlechildren.blogspot.com/
This past year was my first year homeschooling my grandson, after a teaching career of 26 years. It was an eye-opening experience with quite a learning curve! Hopefully, with these suggestions and prayer, this coming year will be much better!
Next year is bound to be better, Kathleen. Don’t be afraid to apply everything you learned about your grandson last year. And remember that homeschooling doesn’t have to be school at home. You can do this!
This is GREAT advice! Our first year and a half of homeschooling (4th grade and half of 5th) we did a lot of hands on learning and field trips. However, by mid year of 5th grade I was concerned be we did not have a lot of paper to show the work we were doing. So, we changed to a work-book oriented format. My son zoomed through a year’s worth of workbooks in just a few months and told me he had not enjoyed it as much as the other format and that it felt more like real school (which was boring to him.) Thank goodness I listened to his concerns and returned to a more active form of homeschooling. Of course by high school a lot of that naturally changes, but not the lack of enthusiasm for a desk or the need to get outside.
Oh, I’m so glad you listened to your son and gave him what he needed. Good point that as our boys get older, the way they learn changes. We don’t have to force it on them before they’re ready. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us!
May I ask what curriculum you used? I am needing suggestions on a good one that is more hands on like this post is talking about.