I’m not sure how it’s possible that he’s this old already, however, my oldest son just completed Driver’s Training. He was in a class with 23 other kids and he was the only homeschooler. To tell you the truth, this made both of us a little bit nervous.
My son was nervous because he isn’t used to walking into a classroom filled with a bunch of other kids that he doesn’t know. He didn’t want to feel like an oddball.
I was nervous because we don’t do as much testing or writing in our homeschool as they do in public schools. I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the other kids, who are used to sitting at desks and writing all day long.
I’m happy to report that my son did amazingly well in the class. He got along great with the other kids! And one of his happy moments was when the instructor went around the room and asked everyone to share what kind of car they would like to drive. My son said there were lots of “Jeep Wranglers” and “Fords” and various other cars thrown out there by the other kids. But when it was his turn, he said “A ’69 Mustang” and the whole class responded with “Ooooooooooooh!” My son was pretty pleased.
My happy moment came at the end of the first week. The instructor had given each of the kids an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper with information about the rules of the road filling the entire front and back. He said that he wanted the kids to memorize everything on the sheet. He would be giving them a blank piece of paper that first week and they would be expected to write it all down as close to word for word as they were able.
My son took what the instructor said to heart. He read the information on the sheet over and over. He made flash cards with some of the information. He had several of us quiz him on the information multiple times a day. When the day of the test came, my son was prepared. He knew the information cold. Even though this son isn’t used to taking lots of tests, like the other kids in the class, he was as ready to take it as he could be.
The instructor handed each of the kids three sheets of blank paper so they could write down the information. My son wrote for a full hour. He wasn’t positive whether or not he aced the test; but, he knew that he at least came close. After the test, the instructor told the class how disappointed he was that so many of the kids didn’t even attempt to write anything down.
My son was surprised that there were so many kids who didn’t seem to care about the test. He said that lots of the same kids weren’t taking any notes as the instructor spoke – even when they were encouraged to do so. And he was shocked that many of them didn’t even appear to be listening to information that could someday save their lives!
Can Our Boys Compete?
As homeschoolers who don’t do inordinate amounts of testing, and who don’t require tons of written papers and such, I sometimes wonder if my boys will be able to compete against kids who have to stand up to that kind of pressure every day in school.
This experience has helped me to feel much more confident about how we’re preparing our sons. Just because we don’t force them to take multiple tests per week doesn’t mean they won’t do well on tests. Just because my sons HATE to write anything down doesn’t mean they CAN’T write when they have to.
I think that homeschoolers have a huge advantage over other kids because they aren’t forced to operate in stress-mode every day of their lives. Kids in regular schools worry that they’ll be late to class, that they’ll forget their homework, that they won’t be able to finish their homework, that the kids will laugh at something they say, that they’ll need to go to the bathroom during class and won’t be given permission… and the list goes on and on.
Homeschooled kids don’t have any of these concerns. They’re able to eat when they’re hungry, go to the bathroom when they need to, and learn when they are awake and ready. They are much calmer and less stressed than are their publicly-schooled counterparts. I’ve heard it said that stressed out children become stressed out adults. According to the APA’s 2013 Stress in America Survey, teenagers are now the most stressed-out age group in America. How sad.
Homeschooled kids are also shielded from being surrounded by apathy all day long. And they aren’t jaded from hours and hours of mind-numbing work being shoved down their throats.
Having this driver’s training experience has helped to reinforce the idea that my boys will rise to the challenge when necessary. It’s comforting to know that I don’t have to hold them to the same stressful standards as would a public school to get them to reach their full potential. I’m confident that when they are ready, they will blossom. That’s good news for our kids and good news for our homeschools. Yes, our boys will be able to compete when the time is right.
Question: Have you found this to be true with your kids? Have your homeschooled kids been able to compete with publicly-schooled kids when it comes to getting a job, getting into college, or on tests? Please leave a comment below.
I love this. With our son being so young I wonder how he will handle life as a teenager and young adult. Thank you for this glimpse into your sons life and for the reassurance that our boys will be able to compete.
You’re welcome, Erin. We’ve had our rough patches… but I’ve been very encouraged, lately, that my boys are growing into fine young men. Keep the faith! 🙂
Thanks for your encouraging words! We homeschool 4 boys ages 8-15. You expressed beautifully what I have experienced and felt through the years.
Oh, thanks, Darlene. That’s so sweet of you!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It seems like you have wise words that calm my inner fears at just the right timing! I love how God does that. It wasn’t as much the test taking, although that is great, it was what you said about the blessing of our boys not being stressed out. Sometimes I do fear that they are too comfortable and have things too easy being at home. What a bizarre thought that is, that our kids need to have more stress and pressure. Not exactly what I mean, but that is what my “fear” actually boils down to. You helped reel me back in to put things in perspective again. I tend to need the “reeling”. When I read this, it reminded me of why we do this in the first place and what a huge GIFT this is for them, and will be going forward into their lives. Thank you for the right words at the right time, it always happens when I read your e-mail. I love the picture of the little legs and shoes at the pumpkin patch too!
Awwww, thanks so much, Angie. I’m glad I’ve been an encouragement to you. God is so good! I pray all of the time that He will use me to minister to and encourage others… and it always makes my day when I hear that it has actually happened. Believe me, I feel your pain. Perhaps we tend to get stressed out about our sons’ lack of stress because we were raised in the pressure-cooker of the public school environment?!?! Just a thought. 😉 LOL
What Angie said! ^ =D Thank you for this encouraging post!
You are so welcome!
Michelle, Thank you, thank you, thank you! My boys (youngest of 5) are 13 and 14. My 14 year old has multiple learning challenges and I have needed encouragement lately as I realize that he may never read well, may need someone to read to him-for life, and may not ever be able to write beyond a sentence or two. You reminded me that I am giving this unique young man the very best education possible. By keeping him out of school with all of its attendant anxiety, I am prepping my son for life!
You’re welcome, Shelly. So glad I was able to remind you that God has all of our kids here for different reasons… and they don’t all need to be prepped or excel in the same areas. Yes, if you had him in school imagine all of the stress that you and your family would be under as your son was pushed to “catch up” to his peers. One of my friends has a son with Down’s Syndrome. Her kids are in public school. I’ve had her tell me, on multiple occasions, how difficult parent-teacher conferences are for this son. Rather than talk about the MANY ways that her son is AMAZING, she is told year after year about the areas in which he struggles to keep up. Seriously! I hope that story also encourages you that you’re doing the right thing for your son. Keep up the good work!!! God gave you your son because He knew you would be the perfect teacher for him. 🙂
This is great! My son is about to turn 12 and I’ve been worrying that I’m not “working him hard enough” so he’ll be able to compete! Perfect timing. =) thank you.
Great article. My boys are only in Kindergarten but I loved how you said they’re less stressed. They are so blessed to learn in the comfort of their home and their teacher, is the one person who loved them the most, Mama!! 🙂
Life is to short to not enjoy it. Let’s take our time with every day God’s given us <3
I LOVE homeschooling
Good advice, Jessica. Thanks for taking the time to comment! 🙂
Thank you so much, Michelle! I’m always encouraged by your posts, but this one really hit home. We have 3 three boys ages 8 – 12 and a sweet toddler with special needs. I’ve been feeling anxious lately about our older boys b/c they have little desire to express themselves through writing. It feels like an uphill battle many days! But you’ve blessed my heart by reminding me that all of my boys truly do have a love of learning that far surpasses my own at age 12, and they can articulate what they know verbally very well. May God continue to bless the work of your heart and hands!
Thank-you SO MUCH, Mia! I really appreciate your kind words. Enjoy those sweet boys! 🙂
I have also found that my son, who we homeschooled, has done well in a classroom testing situation. He is 20 years old and has almost completed his first year apprentice training (plumbing and heating) in our local college. He is getting test marks in the high 80s and 90s. I think that part of his advantage is that he is a quiet listener. He is amazed at the young men in his class who argue with the instructor about what he says. This wastes class time for everybody. His other advantage is the experience that he has had with his father. We have built and renovated a few houses for ourselves over the years and this has given my son the confidence of having a good range of skills. He is also my husband’s apprentice in our plumbing and heating business. I think that he will do well in life!
Oh, that’s wonderful to hear, Lynn. Wow, sounds like he is doing well already! Thank-you SO MUCH for sharing your experience with us. Very encouraging!!!
Thank you so much for this encouragement! Sometimes we homeschooling mamas need to be shown that we’re doing a good job, and sometimes we need to be reminded that we are doing what is absolutely best for our children. My wish is that the hope this article inspires will spread throughout the homeschooling community and let every mama know they are doing a good job.
I hope it does, too, KT. You’re so right! Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂
Thank you for this encouragement. No matter how strongly I believe this is the best path for us I would be lying if I said insecurity never creeps in! Sharing like this is SUCH a blessing! 🙂
You’re welcome, Branson. It’s always encouraging to hear from those who are going before us. I love hearing stories from veteran homeschoolers!
Mishelle thank you for your post. Let me tell you that I have lots of fears and one of them is doing the right things with our children. I am homeschooling my 7year old son but the challenging part is that our first language is Spanish and I am homeschooling in English! I trust God because this is really an unknown path for me and He will lead us wherever He wants us to go. I appreciate the way you talk about the experiences with your boys. It is very encouraging to know that there are many that had been before me and I can learn from those experiences. God bless you!!
That’s wonderful, Wendy! Very courageous of you! By the way, I think all moms who are homeschooling have that same fear. Actually, that’s probably universal to ALL moms, whether they are homeschooling their kids or not. If you’re trusting God to lead you, however, then He will get you where He wants you to go. I’m so glad I’ve been able to be an encouragement to you! Take care and I hope you have a wonderful year with your son. 🙂
Hey Wendy! Estoy en tu misma situación! I homeschool my 7 year old, and Spanish is my first language too. It is a huge challenge indeed! I can totally relate. We have homeschooled from the beginning, so he never have been in a public school environment. God has been supported us all this way, and I remember those days when everybody told us that it was the worst possible idea (including the grandparents ). But God is good, and it was his plan. Yes, is twice harder than it would be for a native speaker,.. but it’s so worth it!. God bless you in your journey!
As a homeschool mom of 5 boys, I can not express how much this post means to me! I often wonder get grilled about the effects of homeschooling on their future. Although I am confident that we are following God’s plans for our family, those questions plant tiny seeds of doubt that unfortunately sprout on our rough days. I am so glad that your son and you had this positive experience! Thanks so much for sharing!
You’re welcome, Amy. If it helps, I think we all suffer from those seeds of doubt. I guess that’s the price we pay for taking the road less traveled. That’s one reason it’s so important for veteran homeschoolers to share their stories with us. They’re so encouraging!!!
Great questions! I’m on the other side, as my kids have all been through college. Two went to grad school. The stress of testing and fitting in during classes wasn’t bad for my kids, either. I did learn (watching them) that my kids who did much more writing in homeschool, had much more success in college. Writing is a constant and many careers also demand good and fast writing skills.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us, Lisa, and for your advice! I appreciate that. 🙂
The more I read, the more I felt assured that I was making the right decision to homeschool my son. But, it wasn’t till the last paragraph that I was confident about my decision.
When my boys were babies, I was still working. And, I refused to put them in a regular daycare. They were infants and probably wouldn’t have realized the difference until much later on. But, I didn’t want them to be in an assembly line where their diapers were changed at a certain time, they got a drink at a certain time, & even swaddled at a certain time.
So, when you wrote that they go to the bathroom when they need to, they eat & drink when they need or want, I realized that I want the same things for them now as I did when they were born.
Thank you!
You are so welcome, Cindy!!! 🙂
My son went to a local high school for the first time to do Yr 11 & 12 – he wanted to study the higher maths and science options. After a term of adjustment and getting used to pacing, expectations and so forth, he has been a straight A student. He has the ability to self manage, be responsible for his learning and aim high….he will graduate very soon and is in the running for school dux. Peer pressure has never been a problem as by the time he started at ‘real’ school, he was comfortable with who he was and what his ideas and opinions were.
The homeschooling foundation has been the best possible base for his education and character!!!!
That’s wonderful news, Heather. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!
My eldest two sons (now in college) took the SATs and ACTs as their very first standardized testing in 11 th grade. I told them both to do their best- and that was it. One son blew it away the other scored average. Both are happy college students. Homeschooled boys that are allowed to explore their interests (as well as take some “required” classes) don’t often care about competing but they succeed beautifully! My third son- a high school senior- doesn’t even want to go to college, but has already set up his HVAC training for spring semester! He is succeeding as well. I think homeschooled boys have the best advantages!
I love that. Thanks so much for sharing your story!