I’ve always seen my blog as a ministry opportunity. I love being able to encourage parents who are homeschooling their boys… and I try to share whatever I feel God is placing on my heart that week. Â
I don’t know if you realize this, but I often pray for you, dear reader. I know how hard it can be to homeschool your kids – and homeschooling boys can be even more difficult.
Because my goal is to encourage and educate my readers, I’ve sent out a couple of different surveys over the years. These have helped me to get a better idea of the struggles that you are facing – and the questions that you are having while you are on your journey.
Today, I am going to select three of the questions that actual readers have asked me and answer them here.
Here are 3 Tough Questions Parents Have Asked Me About Homeschooling Boys:
- How do I keep from messing up my boys by teaching them the way I, as a female, want to be taught?
Wow, that’s a good question. I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me how to know that they aren’t messing up their kids or doing them a disservice by homeschooling them.
I think that this question is something that most of us have contemplated at some time or other while on our homeschooling journeys. Parents want so badly to do what is best for their kids. And homeschoolers are swimming upstream, which can make them question everything!
This question goes a step further, however, and asks how we can know that we are teaching our BOYS properly. This is a valid question.Â
No matter how much society might want to turn their backs on this idea, boys and girls are different. They think differently, they see things differently, they hear differently, they feel comfortable in different temperatures, and more.
God has made it so that men and women complement each other. Strengths that women have are often weaknesses of men and vice versa. This is not by accident. God wants us to rely on each other for the best possible outcome in life.
Our boys learn better in a slightly different learning environment than do our girls. My entire blog delves into ways to educate our sons in the best possible manner. Â
Here are a few quick tips, however, to answer this question:
Dads are key
Be sure dad is involved in your son’s life. Boys need their fathers! If your husband isn’t able to provide your son the time and attention that he needs, then I highly recommend you search for another male mentor for your son.
Be a student of your son
Observe him to discover the way he learns best. Boys have many things in common but we are all unique individuals, so you will want to see what works best for him specifically.
God’s got your back
Remember that if God has called you to homeschool your son, He will give you the information that you need in order to equip him. God has all of us here for different reasons and He will make sure that you give your son the education that he needs in order to complete God’s purposes for him in this world. Â
Pray that God would give you wisdom and that you will have the strength to trust Him and follow His plans for your son.
- How do you keep your house clean and good meals on the table when you always have children in your home and are teaching them all day? I admire women who can do it all and do it even semi-well.
First, I just want to remind everyone that no one can have it all or do it all. I hope I don’t give the impression that I have it all together and that I do everything well. Just ask my husband or my close friends about that. LOL Â
I struggle to get everything done as much as the next person.
My big advice here is to decide what the priorities are for your family. If having a clean home is most important to you, then you’ll want to put house cleaning and chores at the top of everyone’s list. If eating healthy meals is most important, then you’ll want to prioritize that.
Here are a few quick tips I’ve found which have helped around here:
Have a daily plan
I’m a planner. I wouldn’t get anything done if I didn’t have a plan in place for my day. I use Artful Agenda (referral code RM103566) to come up with daily task lists for myself. I have a master list for each week, with things I need to do on Mondays and Tuesdays and so on.
This allows me to set up repetitive tasks for each week. Then, I simply add any additional items that I need to get done that day and there’s my To Do List for the day.
Get the kids involved
You shouldn’t have to keep the house clean on your own. Not only is that an inefficient way to run a household, it also does your kids the disservice of allowing them to become lazy. Â
Give your kids chores to do every day. If you have struggled in this area, consider running a Life Skills Boot Camp over the summer.
Make a menu
I don’t know about you, but my brain feels pretty much fried by supper time. I need to have a plan in place for meals or I will be completely lost when it comes time to eat.Â
Consider creating a weekly menu. This will help you know what to buy when grocery shopping. It will also tell you what meat needs to be thawed in the morning, what veggies need to be chopped, or what needs to be thrown into the Crockpot or Instant Pot.
Try to do whatever meal prep you can throughout the day so that when supper time is imminent, you will have less work to tackle.
- What do you tell yourself when you are discouraged with how things are going?
We all have days, months, or even years that don’t go very well. Life can be tough and various circumstances can cause us to become tired and/or discouraged. When the kids are rebelling and you’ve basically had to throw your homeschooling plans out the window, it’s easy to feel like a total failure.
Here are some tips I’ve found which help to beat back discouragement:
Start your day with prayer
This is vital! We need God to give us the strength to homeschool our kids well. Â Ask Him what He wants you to teach your children. Â
Listen for His prompting. Let go of the things you don’t feel Him calling you to do.
Take care of yourself
It’s easy to lose ourselves during these busy parenting years. We must make sure we are also finding ways to take care of ourselves or we can feel exhausted and discouraged.
Schedule the time if you have to! And don’t be afraid to ask others for help.
Talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself
It’s easy to let that little voice in our heads tell us we’re failing or that we aren’t doing enough. We all need to learn to tune out that voice and to tell ourselves what we need to hear.
Be sure you are filling up on Truths from God’s word on a regular basis. Listen to encouraging podcasts. Read encouraging blogs.Â
Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.“
I hope you’ve found these answers encouraging! Keep your questions coming and I’ll be happy to attempt to answer them and to share any tidbits of wisdom I’ve been able to glean as I’ve walked down a similar road. God bless you in your efforts and be of good cheer.Â
And remember that when God calls you to do something He will be the one to equip you and enable you to complete it!
I LOVE that last one: Talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself. I find it especially helpful to tell myself what God says about me in His Word vs. what circumstances around me are saying. On days when even that seems too difficult and everything seems to be going wrong, I remember what Mother Teresa said, “We are not called to be successful…but to be faithful.” On hard days focusing on being faithful is easier than focusing on being successful.
Oh, I love that quote from Mother Teresa! Thanks so much for sharing that! What a great thing to keep in mind on those hard days. 🙂
Thank you! Needed this today.
You’re welcome!!!
This was really timely for me, thank you so much. I have 3 sons and we are new to homeschooling, having been in public school for several years. I need the reminder that if God has called me to this, (and he has), then he will equip me. I am reading your blogs all the way from New Zealand.
Oh, that’s really wonderful to hear, Fiona! Thank-you taking the time to say “hi.” (BTW it is a dream of our family to visit New Zealand someday.)
Hi Michelle, Thanks for a really cool post, also all the way from New Zealand (hi Fiona!). My oldest has turned 5 recently and we’re easing into homeschooling this year. We all need to learn about establishing some routines, and we’re growing (RL) friendships with other homeschoolers.
I have not known that routines and structure can be loving and beneficial until recently, and I have A LOT to learn in that department – and about raising & educating boys. So it’s great to have people like you who share your knowledge so generously. Thanks again.
Oh, thanks so much for taking the time to comment. How exciting to hear from another Kiwi! Our family is currently watching Lord of the Rings (we do this often) and my guys were thrilled to hear that I was communicating with people from New Zealand through my blog. 🙂
Yes, routines can be very nurturing and beneficial. Flexibility is also a good thing – I’ve written about that in the past as well. We don’t want structure to get in the way of natural learning, either. It’s definitely a balance.
I’m glad I’m able to share my experience with you! Take care and I hope you keep checking in as you walk this new path!
Hi again, I just wanted to ask, how do you mix up your day so there is a good balance between workbook lessons and creative/practical lessons? We are coming into winter here and it is raining a lot, do you have some tips on how to keep boys engaged and active when you can’t get outside?
Thank you so much.
Hey, Fiona, that’s a good question. When we first got started homeschooling, I found it much easier to buy a big box curriculum, which contained tons of workbooks, and we would work through those throughout the day. As we’ve settled into homeschooling more, however, I’ve moved away from workbooks almost entirely. We still use them for math, but other than that, workbooks really don’t have a place in our house anymore. I’ve tried to replace most of the textbooks in our house, too. Here’s a post I wrote about that.
And here are some ideas for helping boys to move around when they can’t get outside. Just ignore the ones that involve the outdoors for now.
If you’re looking for a fun, active unit study that will get your boys up and moving, you might want to check out my Time Capsule: Medieval England lessons. It’s filled with all sorts of hands-on projects and fun stuff that will give your boys a big dose of active learning.
I’ll also try to write a longer post about helping boys to be active when they can’t be outside, too. Thanks for the idea!
So many great points here, Michelle, but “letting go of the things God’s not calling you to” … gosh, that’s sooo good!
Thanks, Emily. I often have to remind myself of that one…
Hi Michelle, thank you so much for your comments and the links for me to read, I really appreciate it. A homeschooling friend of my mine from Minnesota put me on to your blog and I am so grateful. It is great to read and learn from your experiences with boys.
Hi to Rebecca from New Zealand!
Tell your family Michelle, NZ is a great place to visit but not in the winter!
Many blessings.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Fiona. I appreciate them so much! And thanks for the tip on when to visit New Zealand. I’ll definitely keep that in mind. 🙂
And Rebecca from Minnesota, thank-you for sharing my site with your friend. That’s SO HELPFUL to me!!! <3
I loved all your answers to these “tough” questions! I need to take time to observe how my son learns. He has three older sisters that I’ve gotten use to homeschooling a certain way so I need to discover what works for him. It definitely isn’t how his sisters learn!
You’re right – boys learn best in different ways than girls do. Hopefully you’ll be able to glean lots of tips from my blog. 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by!
I just completed my first year homeschooling my son who just turned 8. I often struggle with the question of how I can properly train him when we are such different beings, but-as you suggested- I have had to become a student of his to really make this work. I started out trying to teach him straight from books and worksheets and I have since learned that he is a very visual learner and he needs to be able to get up and move so we are adjusting for the fall. I also second the daily plan, menu, kids’ chores…goodness, I guess I second the whole post! Great tips! 🙂
Hey, Jessica, it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to figure out so much after only one year of homeschooling. Awesome! I hope you and your son’s next year are incredible with your new insights. I’m sure he will really appreciate the changes. 🙂 Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience with us. 🙂
I am saving this to come back to. I have quite a few points to work on. Right now we are just plain battling getting it all done. Our boys are so active. They LOVE EVERYTHING! We have come to the realization that we have to decide what we want to do most…. hunt, trap, raise pigs, meet chickens, cows, train our new black and tan coon hounds, trap shoot, join a ping pong team, work at the horse ranch, take riding lessons, leather tooling and crafting…. and the list goes on! They make it hard to fit school into all that! 🙂
I appreciate the balance you have and that you share with us who struggle. Our boys are 11, 13, & 15 (the ones still at home), and I’ve gleaned a lot from your experiences all the way through!
Checking out your Evernote suggestion. I make lists, but have trouble sticking to them. 🙂 Off to do bookkeeping for my husband’s business…..