You Can't Have it All

You Can’t Have It All

Overview: Let’s be honest for a moment. You can’t have it all. No one can. There are choices to make in life and they all have consequences. Even good choices!

You can’t have it all. At least not at the same time. I’m not sure who first started selling us the lie that we could have it all but in modern society, the lie is all around us.

Social media bombards us with pictures of smiling fathers traveling all over the world for their jobs showing no sign of the fact that they are desperately missing their families back at home. We are frequently shown Facebook photos of the beautifully decorated interiors of people’s homes even though they only look like that briefly before company arrives.

You Can't Have it All

We spend time on Pinterest searching for recipes of delicious meals we can serve to our families regardless of the fact that most nights we are shoveling food down our kids’ throats as fast as possible so we can get them to soccer practice on time.

Let’s be brutally honest for a moment. None of us can have it all. There are choices to make in life. Period. And no matter what choices we make in life, whether good or bad, there are different sets of issues that we will face as a consequence.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that leaving my career as a network administrator in order to stay at home and raise our boys was a good one. With that good decision, however, my husband and I have had to face some less than savory consequences.

Along with all of the wonderful benefits of being a stay-at-home mom, there are also some hard things we have had to face. Money is much, much tighter on one income. Utility bills are higher since the house is occupied all day long. It’s difficult for me to have alone time. And the list goes on.

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When moms choose to have a career outside of the home, there are also many pros and cons. Their family may have more money to work with but they have to give up precious time with their children which can never be recouped. Decisions have consequences, good and bad, no matter how we choose to live our lives.

Choosing to homeschool your children also has a set of consequences that go along with it.

Most of the resulting items are wonderful benefits such as getting to spend more time with your children, being able to teach them about God throughout the day, not having them bombarded by peer pressure, no worries about bullying or school violence, being able to save money on clothes (we all know that the homeschool uniform is pajamas and/or athletic pants, right?!?), being able to teach them in whatever way is best for them, etc.

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Even though the decision to homeschool your children is a wonderful one to make, it also has some harder issues that you will need to overcome. Living on one income can be very challenging. There’s no way to escape your children. You are together all day every day. Your house is guaranteed to be messier because people are home using the rooms all day long.

You can't have it all

There is also a lot of guilt associated with being a homeschool mom. You can’t blame the teacher or the other kids when your child is acting up or when they are struggling to learn something. Much of your free time is spent making lesson plans, researching curriculum, and reading things so that we can better teach our children.

Homeschooling is such a blessing!

I have never regretted our decision for me to quit my job and homeschool our boys. There are days when I wish we had more money or I wish I could sit around for a few hours in the afternoon sipping my mint tea and reading a book for pleasure. It isn’t always easy to homeschool but nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy.

Homeschooling is hard!

You will have to give up some things in order to homeschool. You can’t have it all. But when it comes down to it, choosing to homeschool is a wonderful decision. It means giving up some things in this life in order to impact your children for eternity.

When you’re having a rough day (or a rough year) and you think about throwing in the towel, remember why you chose to homeschool your children in the first place. Yes, it is a sacrifice. But it’s the kind of sacrifice you will never regret having made. If we can’t have it all, let’s be sure we are choosing to hang onto what is truly important in this life.

Question:  What have you gained by homeschooling your children?  What have you lost?  If you have any thoughts to share with other parents please leave a comment below.

You Can't Have it All

5 thoughts on “You Can’t Have It All”

  1. This is so true. My older boys have felt left out if a few things lately; things with their peers from public school. In the big picture I still feel like we are in the right track but sometimes those little things do get to me and make me worried they are missing out on something they may feel feel resentment for later. Being a mama, homeschool or not, is not easy!

  2. I can honestly say I have feel more positive to homeschooling then not. That said, alone time of course is something I don’t get too often, but we work together to try to get some and God willing we all get our free time on occasion haaa
    I look at our local education cuts and problems in the school system and I quickly recognize why we have made the choice to homeschool! It can be ruff and it most likely will have it’s crazy moments, but so does having your child in the public system.
    I keep grounded by God’s guidance and focus on the bigger picture.
    Research is my new hobby haaa I get that one!
    I struggle with social aspects such as graduation, prom etc. then I take a look at what the other side of those particular things usually involve and again sigh and say we got this, I’m sure, right haaaa
    For the most part I think the pros are far more positive then the cons for us. Yes, I think more money is a luxury most of us would hope for, but receiving what we need is a complete blessing.
    Keeping things in check and learning to not over think is key to any Momma and her family!

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