10 Great Ways to Encourage Your Son

Overview: When boys are young, encouraging them comes naturally. When they get older, it can be trickier. Here are 5 great ways to encourage your son!

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I love taking videos of my family. When my boys were little, I used to make a point of keeping our video camera fully charged and at hand so that I could capture all of their adorable moments. 

When we watch these “Ben and Sam” videos, as we call them, there are numerous times when I’m clapping for my boys, saying encouraging words to them, and just generally being thrilled with everything they did.

And I mean everything!

When our boys are young, our words of encouragement seem to come naturally.

We clap enthusiastically for them as they toddle their first few steps across the floor.

We holler, “Good job!” when they were able to sing the A-B-C song. And their cute mistakes actually make us smile!

And we praise them with a hearty, “Way to go!” when they remember to wash their hands after using the bathroom.

As they get older, however, our words aren’t quite as encouraging. At least mine weren’t.

We see stop seeing their actions in as positive of a light and start to suspect lack of effort, attitude issues, and sometimes even rebellion when they don’t do things as quickly or as well as we think they should.

As our sons get older, it’s so much easier for us to point their flaws in an effort to try to get them to work on their weaknesses than it is for us to revel in their victories.  

Why is that? Older sons need encouragement, too! Actually, they probably need it even more than do younger boys.

As our sons approach the tween and teen years, they become self-conscious. They see their own weaknesses way more than their strengths. And it’s much easier for them to feel down about themselves.

Knowing this, it’s important for parents to step in and become our sons’ cheerleaders.

Here are 5 Great Ways to Encourage Your Son:

1 – Spend Time with Them

Moms can come across as being irritated with our son’s behavior, especially when they are laughing hysterically about bodily functions or something similar that we don’t necessarily think is funny. We need to remember that our boys can also be extremely sweet and fun to be around. 

Be sure to let your son know how much you enjoy spending time with him. Have fun with your son!

2 – Be Appreciative

Be sure to thank your son when he pitches in rather than just expecting him to do so. Everyone likes their efforts to be recognized. 

Be appreciative of your son’s efforts, even if the results aren’t quite what you were expecting or if he does things differently than you would have.

→ Related Content: 5 Ways to Thrive During Difficult Parenting Stages

3 – Give Them Some Space

Our boys want to rise to the challenge. Don’t hover whenever your son has a difficult task he needs to accomplish.

Give him the space to figure out how to solve the problem on his own. Boys want to know that we respect them and have confidence in their abilities. And sometimes, they just want to be left alone to with their thoughts rather than talking things to death.

4 – Value Their Opinions

Our boys WANT to be listened to. They want their opinions to be heard. When we give them an opportunity to share their thoughts, they will feel extremely encouraged and valued.

It’s important to be an active listener and validate your son’s feelings. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their feelings, and instead offer empathy, support, and understanding.

Also, be sure to give your son your undivided attention when he’s talking to you. Our kids can tell when we’re only half listening to them.

My husband has made it a point to take one son out to breakfast on random Saturdays so that they can stay connected and have some deeper talks. He has done this for years.

We knew that this practice was paying off a few months ago when our oldest son was processing something and he asked my husband if they could go to breakfast the next morning to discuss it. Parenting Win!

5 – Look for the Good

It’s so easy to point out everything your son is doing poorly and to gloss over or discount everything he’s doing well. Take the time to tell him when he does a good job. Let go of your unrealistic expectations for your son. 

Focus on their strengths and achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate their successes and encourage them to set achievable goals.

Even if the results aren’t exactly stellar, be sure you express your appreciation for your son’s effort. And if you REALLY want to encourage your son, try buying him some ice cream or taking him out to dinner at his favorite restaurant.

Food goes a long way with our boys!

6 – Support His Interests

Some boys love cars, wrestling, and getting dirty. Some don’t. It’s important to remember that every boy is different, and has his own unique interests. Encourage your son to pursue his passions, whether it’s art, music, science, or anything else.

7 – Encourage Physical Activity

Boys tend to have a lot of energy, and they benefit from being physically active. Encourage your son to participate in sports, go for bike rides or hikes, or try out new physical activities.

Not only will this help him stay healthy, but it will also build his confidence and self-esteem. Plus, it’s a great stress reliever!

8 – Teach Emotional Intelligence

Boys often have a hard time understanding and expressing their feelings. It’s important for them to learn healthy ways to work through their emotions. It’s usually easier for them to open up if they are sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face.

Try having a conversation with your son while driving in the car. Or have dad or another positive male role model talk to him while they’re working on a project together.

9 – Provide Positive Male Role Models

Boys benefit from having positive male role models in their lives. Whether it’s a father, uncle, grandfather, or family friend, having a male role model who values kindness, empathy, and respect can help boys develop into strong, confident young men.

10 – Encourage Professional Help

If you suspect your son is depressed, find help from a mental health professional such as a therapist, counselor or psychiatrist and support him through the process.

If you find that your words have become more demoralizing than inspirational, decide today that you will make a change. Looking for ways to encourage our sons can take time, but it’s so worth the effort.

Start by looking for one positive quality you see in your son and sharing it with him. Determine to say at least one encouraging thing to your son each day.

The more you focus on your son’s positive qualities the easier you will find it to give regular encouragement to him.

Question: Do you find it easy or difficult to encourage your son? Do you have any other tips you could share which your son has found encouraging? Please leave a comment below.