My 15-year-old son is leaving on a mission’s trip to Brazil in less than 2 weeks. He’s going with a group of teens and adults from our church and he will be gone for almost 2 1/2 weeks. They will be staying at a Christian Camp while they are there and they will be working with the kids and teens who attend the camp.
The countdown is on and it won’t be long before we’re dropping him off so that the group can take the long flight to a different country. This will be the farthest away from home my son has ever been. It will be the first time he has left the country.
In fact, it will be the first time he has ever been on a jet. And he will be away from us over three times as long he has ever been before. My heart trembles a bit when I think about him leaving for so long.
During this time of preparation, my son has learned a ton of lessons. I’ve even learned a few myself. Here are 4 Lessons Learned from Letting Your Kids Fly:
They’ll Do it When There’s a Need
My sons have never been big fans of writing book reports, writing research papers, or writing anything period. They do occasionally like to make up stories… but that’s really the only thing they’ve ever enjoyed writing down.
So, when my son committed to this trip, I was a bit concerned. There were several books and book reports that each team member needed to read and write. They also needed to write a research paper about Brazil. And they needed to write out their testimony so that they can share it with the entire camp as well.
If I had asked this son to write a book report to throw into a drawer just to show that he knew how to write one, he would have resisted me. He would have questioned the need for it. And he wouldn’t have been happy about doing it.
When his youth pastor asked him to write two book reports, however, he did it willingly. Even cheerfully. He read chapters every day and took notes on what each chapter was about. When he was done reading each book, he crafted his reports and really cared that he was writing a quality paper.
He also needed to write a research paper about Brazil. As he was preparing to write the report, he was concerned about what he should include. I reminded him that the leader had said that they weren’t grading the reports – the point was for the team members to learn about the country.
My son responded by saying that even though they weren’t going to be graded, he still wanted to be sure he was doing his best work.
Wow, that really impressed me. This same son has also been willingly learning some Portuguese for the trip. And he has been intentional about doing his devotions every morning.
This son who hates to write anything down has really risen to the challenge and has done the work that has been assigned to him in an excellent manner and with a good attitude.
When the time came for my son to buckle down and complete the work, he was ready and able to do just that. Endless hours of busy work weren’t necessary to prepare him. He rose to the challenge and did what needed to be done.
Maturity Comes Quickly
This same son has shown an amazing amount of maturity during these final months of preparation. He has really thought and prayed about writing out his testimony in a way that it will have a huge impact on the campers who hear it.
He has been diligent about completing all the work necessary for the trip. He has been making checklists, tracking incoming donations, completing the requirements given to him to the best of his ability and turning them in on time.
He has also been taking odd jobs to raise money as well as volunteering to help people who have a need. Even when someone asks him to do something last minute and it’s cutting into time that he was planning to do something for himself, he has accepted these opportunities with a willing spirit.
This is the son who never used to want to do anything for anyone besides himself. He is maturing into a young man who has a heart for God and it’s a pleasure to see.
God Will Provide
This is a lesson that we are all learning around here. God has shown us this time and time again.
When we first made the commitment for my son to go on this trip, I have to admit that the $1700 price tag made me nervous. I knew that if donations didn’t come in, we’d be on the hook to come up with the rest of the money ourselves.
I am happy to say that God has completely funded this trip for my son. Not only has he received all the donations that he needs, but we’ve also received some funds to help with outfitting him for his trip and for his spending money as well.
God has always given us what we need around here. Whether it was the one of the many times my husband lost his job because of the company going out of business or layoffs, or if it was going down to a single income so that I could stay home with our boys, or when the money was running short at the end of the month but God provided in the form of hand-me-downs for my boys or an unexpected check in the mail.
He has always made sure we have what we need. And He did it again for this mission’s trip. God is indeed the ultimate provider.
Do the Worst First
This is something I’ve been learning over time as well. When you have something you are dreading doing, it’s best to do it first. You’ve probably picked up on the fact that I like to make checklists for myself each day. I get so much more accomplished when I’m operating in an organized mode.
I’m learning that if I have something I need to do and I really don’t want to do it, I have two options. I can either worry and fuss about it, ponder it, think about it, and let it torture me for hours or even days… or I can just do it and check it off my list.
It’s so much less stressful to just do it and be done with it.
Letting Your Kids Fly
It’s not always easy to let our kids spread their wings and fly. I remember how I felt the first time I dropped them off at a 3-day Christian camp. I bawled my eyes out on the way home.
When I picked them up, I was so excited to see them and I remember how they were sad that they were leaving the camp. Flash forward to when I dropped them off at camp last year.
We were all excited that they would be gone for that week. They looked forward to a week of adventure and I looked forward to a week my myself.
The first time our kids do something, it can be hard for us moms to let go. But my experience has always been that my boys come back the better for it every time I open up my arms and let them spring from the nest.
I am grateful that they are still young enough to come back home. I could dread the day when they are gone for good.
But I hope that I’m learning instead to enjoy this time we have together now, to do whatever I can to equip them, and when the time is right, to watch with pride as they fly off on the journey of a lifetime.
Have you had the experience of letting your kids do something big and possibly a bit scary? How did it go? Do you have any advice you could share with us? Please leave a comment below.
Such a great post. It gives me faith as we homeschool and walk this journey of raising two boys. Thank you for sharing.
You’re welcome, Linda! I’m glad I could encourage you!!!
Hi Michelle
Your son will have an amazing time and I am sure God will use this trip as an opportunity to draw your son closer to him. My children are not teens yet and I haven’t had to do this myself but 20 years ago my parents had to let me go as I was embarking on a trip from our far away New Zealand to The States for a 2 1/2 month Youth With A Mission trip that took me from the west coast all the way to the east coast and back again. My Mum was worried sick about me, especially when I was in Atlanta for the 1996 Olympic Games and there was a bombing. I was having the time of my life as a 19 year old, first time in a new country and the experience was amazing. I still am close friends with one of the girls from my trip and I have memories that I will never forget. I will pray for your son and for you too, that God will give you peace as you trust in Him.
Fiona
Sorry, I have realised that mentioning about being in Atlanta at that time probably wasn’t the best thing to write! Especially when you are preparing for your son to go away. I do apologise.
Fiona
LOL – Yeah, the bombing might have been a better thing to laugh about AFTER he is home safely… but he won’t be in Rio so that’s alright, Fiona. I know where your heart was coming from and I appreciate your encouragement. And as always, I really do appreciate your comments. It’s so nice to hear from people and to be able to learn more about you and follow your adventures as well! 🙂
It’s hard when you open yourself up and then… crickets. So thank-you very much!!!
Thank you Michelle. Yes I had trouble getting off to sleep last night worrying about what I said. I am new to commenting on a blog and it is hard to write what I really mean so it sounds right! I guess what I was trying to say there is that your son will be fine, he will be having a great time. It’s us parents who worry when our children are away from us. God will watch over him and the group.
I also wanted to say that what you wrote about your son’s writing assignments was wonderful, what an achievement. I found that encouraging, that is the fruit of your labours. That all the hard work has paid off and when the time comes to do something that has meaning, it can happen.
Thank you.
Oh no, Fiona, don’t worry about what you said at all. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to get to sleep! Hopefully tonight you’ll sleep like a baby since you’ll probably be really tired.
You’ve always been so sweet and I know that you wouldn’t intentionally leave a comment to try to get me to freak out. LOL
And yes, I’m definitely encouraged by the growth I’ve seen in my son these past few months. Someone once told me that teens mature as much during the 4 years they’re high school aged as they do from birth to age 4. I wasn’t sure how that was possible – but now that we’re in the thick of it, I think they were right! 🙂
I’m so glad that sharing our experience has been an encouragement to you. Please keep the comments coming. I love them!!!!! You’re an encouragement to me!
This is really lovely and inspiring. My 16 year old is a kid (boy) I worry about constantly because of his lack of work ethic and immaturity. People tell me to be patient, boys will be boys, etc., but it’s easier said than done. Wishing your son many blessings on his trip to Brazil. I know he will be a blessing to those he ministers to.
I was just having a conversation with my best friend about this very thing! Her son is 16 and he has been in Christian schools all his life. He has a great heart – but he’s very unmotivated. I reminded her what we were like in school at that age. And that we gained maturity once we started holding down part time jobs… and then gained some more in college… and some more in real jobs… and some more once we got married… and even more once we started to have kids. Maturity is an incremental process. I hope that is encouraging to you! Us moms with teen boys need to help each other remember these kinds of things. 🙂
Thank-you so much for your kind words about my son on his trip. I can’t wait to welcome him back home and to hear about all of his adventures. I hope and pray that he will be a blessing to many! I’m sure he will come home with a new level of maturity and with eyes a little wider open.
My son moved into his own apartment the day he turned 18. He wanted to prove to himself that he could pay all his own bills and do well on his own. 7 months later, that same son took off to see the world. He had some money saved but not an exorbitant amount. After 6 months in Mexico and 8 months in California, he is now in Australia. He has tried some things that didn’t go as planned, but he has also shown that he has an independant, manly spirit. When he first took off, my mama’s heart was scared silly but I chose to support him and to trust God. If we can’t trust God with our children, we don’t have a big enough God.
Janna, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Wow! Yes, that would be terrifying to watch as a mom. But what an amazing growing experience for your son. Yes, you’re right. We all have moments where we fear and wonder what’s happening but our God IS big. The part I grapple with is that we aren’t guaranteed that things will always go well. My brother was murdered when he was 21 years old and an experience like always stays in the back of your mind. But yes, even if the worst happened, I’m blessed to know that my sons are following God so they would be going to a better place. I’m hoping I don’t have to go through that myself, though, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, either.