Overview: If you find yourself getting frustrated by your son’s noises, you are not alone. Learn the REASONS this happens as well as HOW to find relief!
Do your son’s noises drive you nuts?!? I’m one of those people who can be sitting in church listening to the sermon but when a child behind me starts clicking his pen in and out I can no longer concentrate on what the pastor is saying.
And when my sons are tapping their pencil or making goofy noises in the car, it doesn’t take long for me to feel the hairs raising on the back of my neck and I have to ask them to stop.
And even worse, I’ve had times when my boys are goofing around and having a wonderful time laughing and carrying on and I feel myself getting upset with them. I’ve gotten upset when my boys are laughing?!? Yes, you read that right.
Can you relate?
6 Reasons Your Son’s Noises are Driving You Nuts!
I recently read an article about misophonia. People with misophonia have specific sounds which cause them to feel an immediate negative reaction.
These are sounds that are just background noise for most people – but when this person hears the sound they will have a response that can range from moderate discomfort to acute annoyance or even full-fledged rage and panic.
Fight or flight reactions can occur.
These sounds can be things like chewing sounds, humming, tapping noises, or even BREATHING!
IMPORTANT: If this is a serious issue in your family and you find yourself feeling anxious or angry by noises regularly, there are ways to retrain your amygdala so that it no longer reacts to these sounds as emergencies and simply passes off the stimulus as to the cerebral cortex to decide how to respond.
Boys and Noise
Why is it that boys tend to be the ones who make the noises and moms tend to be the ones who are irritated by them?
There are at least 6 Factors involved:
1 – Females hear better
Women’s hearing is ten times better than that of men. This is a huge factor in causing boys to make noises that are irritating. They often don’t even realize that what they’re doing is making noise!
Our sons do things that make little sense to us and that can be irritating. We sometimes have a hard time figuring them out!
3 – Boys learn better while moving
Quite often, boys are kinesthetic learners. This means that they need to move their hands and feet in order to think more clearly. Pacing also helps to soothe them.
All of this movement causes noise.
Boys have more of a tendency to produce less serotonin than their bodies need. This can cause them to be fidgety and to lack impulse control… which can irritate moms.
5 – “Huh?!?”
Boys act like they hear us when they are actually thinking about something else. This causes moms to have to repeat themselves often, making them irritated.
6 – “Say what?!?”
Sometimes we think our boys understand what we’ve said to them, but they actually interpret it differently than we’d like them to. This lack of communication can also be frustrating.
→ Related Content: 9 Ways to Help Boys With Too Much Energy
So What?
So, what can moms do to stop being too irritated by our son’s noises?
Here are 5 Things that Should Help:
1 – Understand Your Son
Simply understanding how God has wired boys can go a long way toward taking away the irritation with our sons. When we don’t understand our boys and their behavior is baffling to us, it can be extremely frustrating.
We are less likely to be irritated by our sons once we have a better idea of what behavior we should reasonably expect from them.
2 – Feed the Boy
Be sure we are giving them all the nutrients that they need to help their bodies to function properly. If your son’s noises are driving you nuts and you learn that adding more healthy fats to his diet might help, it’s certainly worth a try.
Learning how to say things in a way that your son will better understand is key to being less frustrated by him.
4 – Train Him Properly
Our boys may not always know that their behavior is irritating to us. However, if we teach our boys to try not to irritate others, this will help tremendously.
In our house, if someone is making noises or doing anything which is driving someone else bonkers, we try to teach them to stop right away as soon as someone asks them nicely to stop. This is way less frustrating!
5 – Give Him a Break
Our boys need to move! Be sure you’re giving your son ample time throughout the day to make noises and move around. Go outside with your son from time to time and allow him to really let loose.
Having regular times when he’s allowed to be loud and wiggly will help your son to have more self control at other times. If you don’t have much outdoor space, there are plenty of indoor activities he can do to burn off his extra energy.
If your son’s noises are driving you crazy, try utilizing some of the above techniques and see if that will get you some relief. Our boys may be noisy and they may not even realize it. Armed with the above information, you may find their behavior way more tolerable in the future.
Question: Do your son’s noises drive you nuts? Have you found any other methods which have helped everyone to be less irritated by each other in your home? Please leave a comment below.
Originally written for True Aim Education. Reprinted with permission.
I TOTALLY get what you’re talking about. Thank you for making me feel less crazy ;).
I very much agree with both learning to cope so we don’t blow up at them AND also teaching them not to be annoying so they can function in society. I feel like there’s always so much pressure on us moms to “be patient be patient be patient” but that’s only half of it. We need to train them not to be obnoxious, and i feel that’s something we can really do as homeschoolers because we’re with them all day and can have targeted, personal discussions on manners.
As far as not listening, or seeming like they are when they’re not, something we find helpful is to check their understanding by saying, “now tell me what i just said”. Then I find out if they actually heard me, because just asking, “did you hear me? Do you understand?” often yields an automatic “yeah” but there wasn’t any processing.
As always, your blog is so useful to me! Thank you for what you do!
You’re so welcome. Thank you for your kind words. And thanks so much for sharing that excellent advice, TJ! Love your suggestion about having them repeat back when they heard rather than just asking for a yes or no answer. This would probably help to promote better communication between husbands and wives as well. 🙂
Goodness! Have you been spying on our family?
We have three sons, and they often do drive me nuts! Just when I get started with concentrating on something, I hear woodpecker noises. It’s funny, because I notice the young boys at church do the same things mine do, with the same frustrating reaction from me!
And we haven’t even begun to mention ALL of the KINDS of noises that boys make—many of them rude or just plain loud. I have trouble with that, and they seem to delight in grossing people out!
Crazy! But you hit the nail on the head here.
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings, Laurie
By the way, I’d love it if you shared this on the Homestead Blog Hop Wednesday. It’s for all things family and home related.
https://www.ridgehavenhomestead.com/category/homestead-blog-hop/
See you there!
I’m starting to realize how many of us moms have this issue. It does help to know that we’re not alone, doesn’t it?!? 🙂
This is great! I had to laugh here, that totally describes me! I have noticed myself getting more and more irritated at noises and thought maybe there’s something wrong with me?!!
This is really good information, thank you.
I have noticed that one of my sons reacts a lot to noises and so I try to teach him to be patient and accepting and not always telling others what to do just because he’s irritated. I know I need to model this myself but it’s so hard sometimes.
Thanks again Michelle!
You’re so welcome. Yet another thing we have in common. LOL Yes, some of us have brains which interpret noises as danger which causes us to go into the Fight or Flight response. I think I need to write a followup post to this one telling people some tips I’ve learned for training their brains not to react to noises quite as often.
WOW!! This hit home this week. I have three boys! The youngest (7 yrs old) is quite possibly the LOUDEST person on the planet, yet loud noises irritate him, the middle boy (nearly 10 yrs old) likes to make all manner of strange noises simply for the sake of those noises, and my eldest (13 yrs old) is my child who loves to pace!! Add in the background noise of a marine fish tank and this is a noisy household.
Your article was GREAT and further confirmed that I need to work harder to get my three noisy and active boys outside more. We don’t have a proper backyard at all and hubby works from home, so being noisy and active indoors is hard too. But we have a couple of parks nearby, and when all else fails we just take multiple trips around the block. I have been receiving your emails for years now and I always find them helpful and uplifting! Thank you SO much!!
I’m so glad I’ve been able to encourage you, Heidi. Thanks for letting me know! 🙂
Yes, physical activity is so important for all kids but boys need it almost as much as they need to breathe. I’m glad you have parks nearby. Makes it a little bit harder than if you could just send them into the backyard but at least you have options.
Not sure if you’ve heard me say this before or not but it’s normal for boys/men to pace as well. Male brains work better when their bodies are in motion so it’s common to see men pace when they’re talking on the phone, trying to work out problems in their head, or just generally thinking about something. Pacing used to bother me until I knew this. There are still times when I’ll ask my husband to stop pacing back and forth in front of me because it’s super distracting. Then he’ll pace in a different area of the house so I can concentrate. LOL